Thursday, January 19, 2012

Happier Times

(Click here for the bigger, better version)

Update: Blogger is playing nasty, this afternoon. I am going to roll over and play dead. If you click on the link you can see the image.

(I trust that by now most people are noticing that clicking on some of the thumbnails here will not accomplish much. There is still a link to a larger version, but that link is in the text below the thumbnail. This new workflow is giving me headaches to get used to, as well; but when it comes to using images at the new website, it makes for a much smoother workflow.)

If you would prefer to skip the sad sack, personal, post below, link to the much more upbeat post at the new blog.

I haven't exactly been Miss Sunshine for the early days of 2012. The hard work on my new site paid off, I think. Before long, I will get to some more tweaking. But, I can live with it as is for now.  The bad cold I am fighting was almost certainly triggered by lack of sleep which came courtesy of the long hours working far outside my expertise as well as some losses and major disappointments that I haven't handled well. Another of those periods where life serves up lemons and it's up to us to make lemonade. Clearly, I have misplaced the sugar or I got rotten lemons, because the taste in my mouth is still sour.

One of the disappointments comes from having learned that someone in whom I had placed great faith and for whom I had enormous affection is a fraud. This is a person who has been living a lie for years, now, and I was one of the suckers. Only, I didn't have to be reeled in. Heck, I jumped into the net. 

This person I loved—from a relatively safe distance, granted—was deeply flawed from top to bottom and now I am reeling. Reeling from shock, disbelief, and that awful aftermath of betrayal.  This is one of life's most bitter lessons. Learning that we really know so few people. We are attracted to the public persona, to the personality these people perfect for the public. We have all known them and by the time you have lived many years, you have been taken in by a few. Still, it is never painless.

Like all of life's wounds, this one will scab over and eventually heal. It just takes time. I still have a lot of good memories thanks to this person and, soon, those memories will overpower this sour feeling. I am focusing on those good times, now, and waiting for the weight to shift.


  1. There is a Buddhist saying: "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment".
    That's easy for me to say when I'm 3000 mi. away but I think there is some truth to it. Sometimes we get disappointments in life but we can't let them define us.
    On a positive note, the new site is smashing. Get yourself an extra scoop of ice cream tonight. I recommend Turkey Hill Dutch Chocolate. Your troubles will melt before the ice cream does.

  2. Ken—Well, shoot. There goes my "happy memories" strategy, and just when I thought it would work :-/. I know you are right about this. I have done it before, I can do it again.

    Thank you for your comment on the new site. I am becoming more confident about it, each day.

    The ice cream solution is a tried and true answer—especially if chocolate is included among the ingredients.. I am surprised that the Buddhist masters never addressed that ;-)

  3. I seriously, seriously admire your work. I can't begin to think how you imagined and realised "Beach Ball Classic". There are so many elements about it that are to be admired; I especially like how you have mixed the order of the objects in terms of depth (e.g. the background texture in front of the ball). It's not your obvious skill in image manipulation that I'm writing about, but more importantly, your thought process and creativity.

  4. Colin—What a remarkarkable compliment. Thank you. I cannot lay claim to an orderly thought process. I know there is something in operation; but, I am not really clear about it, either at the time I am working or after I have stopped. I admire Mark Graf's ability to sketch out with words his concepts and means of execution.

    While I am very much aware that that may sound as though I am trying to lay claim to some sort of special pixie dust, the explanation is much simpler. I simply am not any good at explaining how my brain works in some situations. I literally feel my through the work. As a result, I am as slow as molasses and stumble about reaching for a way to express what I am feeling about the scene and
    what I think the image has to say. It is deeply gratifying to know that this one works. It was a little different challenge for me. Thanks again for your comment.

  5. Anita, sorry to hear about the troubles. I agree with Ken, at least half way. The half that I agree with is about the Buddhist saying. The half that I don't agree with is the ice cream: Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby is a much better selection. Vanilla ice cream, chocolate covered pretzels, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup pieces, and caramel. Now! Who could do better than that? :)

    Heck. Don't take my word for it. Have both! You deserve it for such a nice new site and operating so far out of your parameters. :D

    Lastly, I couldn't agree with Colin more. You are very imaginative. Impressively so, Anita.

  6. Paul—I am receiving some pretty powerful medicine for the blues. Chubby Hubby sounds intriguing, and I am not even a fan of pretzels. But, heck, if you put chocolate on them, that changes everything. Of course, I actually can't eat dairy products, but mention chocolate and not only do my ears immediately perk up, I immediately feel more cheerful. Only all this talk about chocolate also has me seriously leaning toward the pantry. This could get out of control.

    Thank you for those kind words about my work. Your pictures and writing have long served as a beacon to me. Thank you.

  7. Dogs...they never let you down and their love is unconditional. Wonderful image!

  8. You are so right about dogs. They spoil us, then we are tempted to think people may behave as well. Never!

  9. I will second the comment about the imaginative and thoughtful photography, especially your equine ones. They are so beautiful, but more importantly capture the power, gentleness and spirit of the animals; which is far more important than being a pretty picture.

    I am sorry for your frustrations, deceptions, losses and lingering cold. Another Buddhist saying that I remind myself whenever life gets difficult is "everything is temporary". I share your dairy problem - my solution an ice cream maker and coconut milk.

  10. Chubby Hubby is outrageously good! Highly recommended when you're feeling a bit blue. But be forewarned - once you've had it every ice cream you eat from then on will be judged against it. It's that good!

    Things will improve Anita - they always do. Change is the only certainty in life...well, that and taxes.

    Take care,

  11. Roberta—Your comment means a great deal to me. This has been my goal to convey these stories. Thank you for the validation.

    That pilosophy is what sustains us in rough times, isn't it? Knowing that everything is going to change—the bad times will pass just like the best times can't last forever.

    I had found the perfect solution for dairy free ice cream, then I got to the point that I can't tolerate soy. The brand of ice cream I love, Good Karma, Rice Dream contains soy lecithin. Next summer,
    I may have to look into coconut milk and the ice cream maker. Great tip, thanks.

  12. John—Are you guys all working for Ben & Jerry? It is sounding llke a conspiracy. Actually, I know that that evil stuff really must be that good. Unfortunately, I will never know. I will try to console myself with gluten-free, dairy-free brownies and chocolate chip cookies. And, believe me I still remember the good old days and know something about what I am missing.

    You are so right. When times are good, we don't things to ever change; then when the going is a little tougher, we can't wait to move on. Except, as you mentioned, taxes. Thanks for visiting.

  13. I agree with Ken and Paul, both on the Buddhist saying and the ice cream. That said, I do like the new blog, the colors are eye catching for me. Hope the coming year starts to turn around and more sunshine comes your way.

    1. Thanks, Monte, for your thoughts on the new blog. I appreciate the feedback. Since I had second, third, and fourth thoughts about design, I am grateful for validation.

      The year is looking better every day, thanks. And, I can see that ice cream is certainly the "in" treat for 2012. Especially Ben & Jerry's.

  14. Deception is a difficult thing for sure, and hope you are able to look past, perhaps even find a positive as hard as that may seem. I think it is pretty hard to truly know someone. When those top layers are peeled off, sometimes the result is not quite what we expect.

    I appreciate the mention above Anita, even though it doesn't feel that way to myself. I often think much of my rambling is just that. Then, I am much less eloquent verbally.

    I think I am going to go buy some stock in Ben & Jerry's now. I certainly can't argue the positive energy in a bowl of ice cream. Funny Ken mentioned Turkey Hill, I had never heard of it before until my wife mentioned just today - pick up some Turkey Hill Chocolate marshmallow. Strange coincidence. Guess ice cream is in the air.

    1. Sad, but true, Mark. I doubt we really know more than a couple of people. We know certain facets of some people's personalities and we judge by the behavior we see. At least, I will give this person credit for the expertise. Dozens and dozens of people were fooled for years. Some were deeply hurt financially, some of us only wounded emotionally. It was quite an act. It is just amazing how much it cuts to learn that you have cared so much for a person that, in a sense, didn't exist.

      You may not feel that you express yourself as well as you would like, but I always find your posts about concept and execution clear, concise, and instructive.

      Agreed. Ice cream certainly is the air. Maybe that stock is a good idea.

      Thanks for the comment.


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