Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Passion, Passion, Wherefore Art Thou?

(Click on the thumbnail for the bigger, better version)

Had you suggested to me two months that I would be still be recovering from a routine surgery a full month after a straightforward procedure—one completed without complications, I would have laughed at you. Most likely, I would have retorted in my cockiest voice, “Heh! You don’t know me, very well!”

Hmmm. I suppose we are never too old to learn. I have healed quite effectively. I am able to eat with less pain than in the previous year. (What a relief it is to eat a meal and not wait, then, for the anvil to fall on my head.) Still, I don’t feel at all like myself. I look in the mirror and wonder, “Who is that listless person in front of me?” I read interesting material, there is a brief spark, then my eyelids get heavy, my mind wanders, and I stifle a yawn. The spark fades. Ultimately, I decide to postpone any action related to what I have read.

There has been one accomplishment. I have come up with a new theory. My listlessness started me thinking, and here is what I have come up with: I had always believed that passion, ambition, and creativity resided in the heart, mind, and soul. Now, I realize that they were to be found in the gall bladder, instead. Whuda thunk?!

How did I arrive at this startling discovery? Well, I am living example. I have almost no ambition and only occasionally get a glimpse of a creative urge, as it skitters away barely visible out of the corner of my eye. My passion for any endeavor lasts an embarrassingly brief period of time. Ods bodkins! I am, dare I say it, content to take life easy (easy is a gross understatement) and just allow myself to grow stronger. Meanwhile, I wait to rediscover passion and drive lurking somewhere else in my being. I still have most of my organs, so I suppose there is hope.