Sunday, August 24, 2008

Struggling to Make a Come Back

I'm making an effort, folks. Promise. But, I'm either so exhausted that stringing a sentence together is beyond me, or I'm so flustered by a dead end type situation that, believe me, you don't want to hear what I'm thinking. My computer sits gathering dust, and I borrow The Husband's to read a little now and then. I have seen several fascinating posts that I want to come back to and chew on when my brain is once again functional. But, that's the extent of my contact with the world. Eventually, I will feel strong enough to tackle the hours and hours it will take to restore my computer. But, right now the thought makes my head hurt.

This much I have learned. This moving stuff is for youngns. (That's a whole topic on its own) I have aches in places I didn't know I had places. Everything is lost somewhere and the closer we get to making that last trip to clean up the house in Los Angeles, the more I dread the day. This nasty little feeling keeps popping up that maybe renting is not such a bad idea. That means that some day, maybe.... Obviously, in a few weeks I will wonder why I ever entertained such a ridiculous thought. Still, after a point, exhaustion plays tricks with your mind. Furthermore, while I bemoan my fatigue (insert sound of very tiny violin here), my heart is heavy for a couple of friends who are going through some genuinely tough times and deserve more attention and care than I am offering.

Now, I have a few days before our next trip back down there. Yesterday I imitated a vegetable after thinking the night before that I had begun a case of flu. It appears that the symptoms were just my body telling me to stop and take a breath. Today, I woke feeling almost human for the first time in a couple of weeks. Moving day was, of course, hellacious. The husband had been forewarned that I would cry all day the day we moved. (Knock it off, you guys. I heard those groans. Some women do that sort of thing.) It turned out I was too tired to cry and I am still waiting for that day when I can just curl up and bawl for hours over my plants, my trees, my familiar nest. Eventually, this new place will be home. Just not yet.


  1. If it makes you feel any better, my cold turned into bronchitis, which turned into pneumonia.

    I thought I was feeling better Sunday morning (or "bubbling" less at any rate), so I went for a photo outing to an almost ghost town just across the provincial border in Saskatchewan.

    Note to self: Pneumonic dipwads have no business hiking for a kilometre while carrying 20 kilos of camera gear. Especially when the bag of cough drops was left behind in the vehicle.

    Oy vey.

    The camera is going to stay in the bag for the rest of the week.

    Sean M.

  2. Good gracious, no, this doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel worse for giving in to aches and pains that don't begin to compare with pneumonia.

    I hope you take this thing seriously and take very good care of yourself. I would say that hike just may have been a bad idea even with the bag of cough drops. Somehow I doubt it was part of what the doctor ordered.

    Last night, I spent some time lurking at your site and drinking in all those beautiful images, but lacked the will or brain power to record any thoughts. I didn't think "Hmmmmmmm" "Thanks, as always" or "Ahhhhhh" would add much to the discourse there.

  3. Anita, I certainly understand what you mean by saying that moving is for the younguns. I made myself a promise, in 1992, when I was 30, that I'd never move myself again! I've stuck with that promise all of this time. Each time that we have moved, I hired a moving company. We did all of the packing; they did all of the moving! :-)

    I'm sure that you'll be back into the swing of things someday soon. Selling, moving, and all of that stuff is extremely tiring.

  4. Hang in there Anita! Remembering to take it easy is what this whole move was supposed to be about! You're allowed to take it slowly, it's not a race...

  5. Paul - Frankly, I am thinking that anyone beyond 60 who moves, period, is crazy and not only should hire a moving company, but a therapist and a full-time "keeper". I am still overwhelmed. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

    Jaxon - Smarty! Throwing my words back me. Can I plead temporary insanity? Seriously, thank you for the encouragement. Eventually, this phase will be behind me and I will have time to enjoy this. Faster, please. Great to hear from you, by the way.


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