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The Husband and I are in waiting mode. Certainly, it isn’t as if I have hours on my hands to spend sitting around waiting or fretting. I have errands to run and all those pesky household chores—nowadays “company”, meaning prospects to buy our house, might pop up at any time (I can’t remember ever doing this much housework). There are meetings, Open Houses, boxes being delivered to Bear Valley, and endless forms to complete. I am having a wonderful time experimenting with camera and lenses as well as working out software issues I will need to produce the “evidence” that I complete a photo book within the time allowed. I am seeking a balance between packing things I will need at the last minute and leaving too much to pack until the last minute. We have even found time recently for some socializing.
Still, the overall mode is waiting. Waiting to see if any of the offers on our house will result in a final sale, waiting to see if more offers are made, waiting to move, waiting to fully engage in the SoFoBoMo project, waiting to move and begin this big life-adventure as a yikes—a retiree, shudder—some days that seems a dreadful mistake, others an enormous relief. When I meet strangers now, I am not so comfortable when the conversation turns, inevitably, to “What do you do?” After all, for decades, I had an answer and it didn’t fluctuate. Suddenly, the old answer doesn’t apply. To complicate matters, even “where do you live” triggers a bit of disorientation. We are headed there, but most of our things are still here. We still are not able to say that we are even in the process of moving. The answer to both questions could be, “Can I get back to you on that?”
Waiting isn’t a painful state or a negative one in any way. It’s just an unfamiliar one for me. I have been so busy going and doing for years that waiting is requiring some adjustments. It’s a good time for reflection and evaluation—a time for gathering thoughts and storing ideas for future projects.
Anita, over the past couple of years I've been doing a lot of spiritual growth. If I were to label myself, I'd say that I'm a Taoist.
ReplyDeleteLabels are interesting. It's one of the first things that we want to know about a person: What do you do? Not, who are you? What do you believe? What gives you joy? But, "What do you do?" as if that had anything at all to do with your life, IMHO, other than your chosen way to make some money.
Perhaps the "grass is greener", but I think that you are at a beautiful stage in life. A place akin to childhood, if you will, except with adult capabilities. The ability to really stop and smell the flowers, to play, to appreciate the ebb and flow of the tides, if you will.
Want a label? How about photographer! How about lover of life? :-)
BTW, that's a beautiful flower you have there. Take a whiff!