Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Libel and Innocent Creatures

(Click on the thumbnail for the bigger, better version)

So, the truth comes out. False accusations flew and the local deer were impugned without sufficient evidence. Their very reputation as a species was sullied, and all due to hasty conclusions made in a pique of anger. Ladies and gentlemen, the deer are entitled to an apology.

Let us examine the evidence in the snapshots included here. Now, I ask you, ladies and gentlemen, did a deer dig that burrow in that planter box? Of course not. The day after the precious rosebuds disappeared—stolen in the night by a heartless villain, it appeared that some digging had taken place. Now, we have definitive evidence. Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibits A and B.

Clearly, one of the many burrowing creatures that reside here in Bear Valley Springs has illegally established residence in this planter. No. The records are clear. No permits were pulled for this occupancy. This is a straightforward case of unauthorized tenancy.

I ask you for a not guilty plea for the deer. We owe an apology to these innocent victims of circumstance. This was an embarrassing episode demonstrating the pitfalls associated with assumption of guilt.

Now, let us catch and punish the dastardly underground creatures that wreaked this devastation.


  1. Humm...I certainly hope the deer don't know any good personal slander/libel lawyers.

  2. Oh boy, no fences will keep them away...

  3. Hang'em high!!! Pesky littly critters.

    Way too funny and I assume the deer are quite relieved.

    And, for some reason I am only able to comment as anonymous.

  4. You'll nevah catch me coppah! Nevah, I say!!!

    It's a good thing that you printed a retraction! You would have been in trouble!

  5. @ Earl - Oh, mercy, I knew the lawsuit business would come up. Drat. I'm in for it now.

    @Ove - You are right. They happily burrow under all our fences. Trees and bushes have to be planted with wire cages at their bases for protection. The Husband left out that step for these plants in the raised bed, and I suppose that may have been the deadly error.

    @ Anonymous - First, welcome, anonymous. I have had to post as "anon" more than once on other sites. It can be maddening, right? I am delighted that you persevered. Since the post following is a test from Monte, I wonder if you are Monte?

    @ Monte - I hope the test was a success.

  6. Hey! What happened to my comment? :-(

  7. Paul - Good grief! It isn't enough that the attorney for the deer is stalking me, the ground squirrels, voles, and weasels are thumbing their noses at me. Now it seems that the poltergeists hid Paul's commment yesterday and I'm in trouble for that. Sometimes, you just can win for losing. :)

    This one is a real mystery to me, Paul. I have grown accustomed to messing up in various and sundry ways, but this is a new oops. What's with the "woulda" been in trouble? Aren't I in enough already?

  8. LOL! Glad the CSI investigation revealed the real truth.

    Just remember to be lenient on the true perp - they are doing just what comes natural. :-)

  9. Mark - That evidence would have been difficult to overlook, wouldn't it? Even our bumbling investigation found the truth.

    I can't stir up any serious ill will toward the ground squirrels in particular. I know they are doing what they were born to do. Besides, they are so darn cute.


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