Bad News and Customer Service

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We got some quite disturbing news this week. I will leave it at that except to say that I know myself well enough to know that I will not be at my best for a while. I am almost certain to have more bad days than good ones, until the news is encouraging. I apologize in advance if I am slow to respond to comments, erratic in posting, and miss many days of making web rounds. 

Meanwhile, some thoughts swimming around in my head: Do you love your bank? Probably not. I know that I wasn't feeling too kindly toward mine. I won't mention the name, but they are one of the biggest in the country and certainly have California pretty well tied up. Specifically, I was ticked off because a business account of mine had recently been whacked with some outrageous monthly fees. I had not dealt with it—just a couple of things on my plate recently. That was my fault. But, that did not stop me from being annoyed by the exhorbitant deductions from my balance every month.

One of the many things we dealt with, while in Los Angeles Tuesday, was banking. Amazingly, this megabank doesn't have a branch in our nearby small town. When I sat down with a lady at one of those lobby desks, I was only there about an ATM card that had expired right around the time I had surgery. (Another thing that hadn't been dealt with, because it wasn't high on my priority list.) Well, lo and behold, this kind lady preceded to ask me about that account with the nasty fees and volunteered that she could switch the account so my required balance would be quite reasonable. Whoopee! No more irritating deductions. I jumped on the opportunity, of course. 

It is one thing when a company takes care of a problem because we have requested said action. It just feels so much better when the company representative spots the situation and offers to solve a problem that wasn't even on your radar at that particular moment. Today, I am still feeling all warm and fuzzy about that big bank with B and A in its name—at least about the representative at that one branch.

Good Intentions and Where They Often Lead

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Of course, I intended to post something special with a Merry Christmas wish to all. We can see where those intentions landed me. While I contemplate the sad way I strayed from the better path, I am reminded of another aphorism: "Pride goeth before a fall." I hasten to add there was no literal tumbling to ground or floor involved. This, alone, is reason to be grateful. Instead, I have been forced to reevaluate my capacity for recovery. I recall that in a particularly cheeky mood while in the hospital, I even said to someone: "I have recovered from seven major surgeries in my life. I think I understand this process fairly well." Hah! Lesson learned: never underestimate the toll the passing years take on our strength and resilience. Yes, I know it's been less than two months since I left the hospital, but....

As if these lessons were not enough to digest, I am reexamining my original determination to avoid writing about my recovery. I imagined myself limiting my posts to cheery notes about interesting things going on around me and leaving my feelings about being incapacitated to the imaginations of any interested enough to contemplate my progress. Alas, I lack the energy, imagination, will...whatever. My days are long, yet the weeks fly by. I long for the activities I had come to treasure: long morning or evening walks with camera in hand; hours lost in processing photos and endless experimentation with shooting techniques or immersion in Photoshop tutorials; frequent blogging and a vigorous web conversation.

Instead, long fights with boredom, depression, pain, and hopelessness are punctuated with glimpses of ambition, determination, and optimism. Change isn't always easy. Aren't we peculiar creatures? We long for adventure, resist sameness and repetition yet, all too often, we balk at new developments in our lives and flail about in futile attempts to reconstruct what was when what is proves uncomfortable.

Our Christmas was extremely modest and quiet. It began with the sunrise pictured above, was propelled along with wind gusts of up to 30 mph throughout the day, and ended with a torrential downpour. We had the beef and vegetables in the crock pot by 8:00 AM. Then, before 9, I had the fresh bread in the oven. While the wind roared, I stayed tucked inside where the fireplace cheered the great room. Mostly, I amused myself by alternately watching sticky sweet and predictable Hallmark movies (odd that they they all have almost exactly the same plot) and marveling as backyard and patio items were tossed about by the wind gusts.

All in all, it wasn't the best Christmas I have ever had, but it was a long way from the worst. I hope yours was merry and memorable for all the right reasons and I wish you you the Happiest ever New Year!

From Under a Rock

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(You know that old notion of something that has crawled out from under a rock? Well, we all know it usually means that the critter has crawled out from a space beneath the rock—a space large enough for said critter to have been breathing under there. I feel as though I have been under a rock, and a very large, heavy rock—with no space for breathing and moving. Heck, I am not even certain that the rock won’t slip and flatten me again.

What’s it all about? Everything and nothing. I suspect it is mostly about getting older (notice how I skirt right around that getting old thing and write “older”? Somehow it doesn’t sound quite as bad—not so, well, final.) For one thing, aches and pains are piling up, and I don’t sleep as well. That’s all I’m going into on this topic.

Mostly, I am bouncing back and forth between a couple of involved projects and, tough as it is to admit, I’m just not speedy anymore. My photos on Death Valley languish on my hard drive; I have some new pictures from a drive to the Caliente Creek area (I included a down payment above); preparation for a new long-term project are ongoing; taxes aren’t yet done; we have an out of town trip on the horizon; and I have to deal with blog migration in the next two weeks. Otherwise, things are fairly boring here.

Blogging for Dummies

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Not only am I not a geek, I am virtually paralyzed by the thought of most software. For example, I have almost none of the bells and whistles on my blog that Blogger offers and I am not even considering ever switching to Wordpress. Now, take this for what it is worth, since I have already admitted that I don’t know what I am talking about; but, my ill-informed impression is that Wordpress is well suited for folks who are adept with software while Blogger is designed not only for those clever enough to maximize it’s capabilities, but for dummies as well. Furthermore, the only version of Blogger is free and that suits my budget perfectly. Is there any wonder, why I went with the latter?

Being a non-geek, shows up front. My blog is in need of updating, but every time I get into the dashboard, I spend far too much time bumbling about and get frustrated that it takes so much time to complete what I know should be a simple task.

In the last few days, I screwed “my courage to the sticking place” and switched from the old "post editor" to the newer "updated editor". By the time I experimented for a couple of days, I was more than a little ticked-off and convinced that I had wasted my time and driven my blood pressure up by at least ten points. It appears that I traded spell-check and new problems for a couple of conveniences that I had been living without up to this point.  Yes, I got a typeface I prefer, namely Helvetica. Still. Worth all the hair pulling? Let’s put it this way, I switched back to the old, unimproved editor after one post—for health reasons. Life is short.

On a slightly saner (at least calmer) note, I have been curious about statistics for my site for at least six months. I know I have a very light traffic, but it would be nice to see the growth. I do think that I have more readers now than I did a year ago, but I have never had the gumption to install any sort of counter. I don’t spend much time thinking about it. Although curiosity is a powerful motivator, I wouldn’t be doing anything different with my posts after reading the statistics. I suppose, then, that it doesn’t matter except that it irritates me to be handcuffed by my lack of education—which is compounded by wimpiness. It's pathetic, isn't it, if you can't easily master Blogger? Hopleless, I would venture to say.

By the way, I have finally returned to fight another day with new "updated editor" and we are getting along better now. And, you can stop laughing at me now, thank you. Sigh. I think I will concentrate on taking more photos and enjoying the digital darkroom. It's wise to acknowledge our limitations and stay in the kiddie sandbox if we truly belong there.

P.S. If you are wondering whether the photo connects with the text, think about it. Bird. Brain. Riiiiiight.
 
P.P.S. I don't stay in this sort of mood long. There is no payoff. But, sheesh, every so often I just need a good rant. I already feel better.

Computer Battles

That recent fog, or fever, passed several days ago; but, I have been fighting Internet battles for the last few days and, unfortunately, don’t see an end in sight. I knew from the beginning that our access up here to the World Wide Web was apt to try my patience, since we left broadband back in Los Angeles. However, for almost a week now, getting on the web is almost as fun as going to the dentist. For now, I am unable to upload the larger files to my online galleries and even reading, much less posting on the sites of my fellow bloggers, is a slow and exasperating task. Some days, it’s click the mouse; go get a glass of water; wander out to the patio and check the status of the rose bush; amble back to the office; stretch; rearrange some papers on my desk; then, yes, there it is. Boy, am I a spoiled brat, or what? I remember AOL dial up. That wasn’t a picnic and I survived—but, not for long I admit.

I suspect that the problem is much more complex than our Internet provider. My computer is almost three years old. That means not worn out, but overdue for a serious clean-up and, oh, how I dread that. By the time I reload all the programs and download all the updates, two days will be chewed up in work that I loathe. Of course, it wouldn’t take two days for anyone who is truly computer savvy, but remember I mostly fumble and bluff my through this stuff.

This little aggravation won’t get solved immediately due to an upcoming trip and a few commitments that are ahead in the queue. In the meantime, I will post here as best I can (mostly without photos) and my comments on the posts of others will be a bit on the sparse side. It’s no fun being out of the loop, but it won’t last forever. This is just one more of those things that shall pass. But now you know that you need not wonder what exotic and enviable adventures I may have embarked upon. What? You already knew better than that? Drat. I have given away too much. I have to work on an air of mystery. Now, maybe if I….

In a Lull

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These periods of being stuck are nothing unusual for me and I am getting better about handling them; but, I sure as heck don’t like them.

How best to describe where I am? Who knows? More importantly, who cares? Call it a funk; call it burnout; call it a lull. I have been stuck. I have been pretty much tongue-tied with nothing to say that is fit to share in a family-friendly blog. Most of you know what I am talking about because you have been there. I have been distracted by this business of keeping my finger in the dyke to hold off an impending collapse of my messy storage system. Besides that, I am working on a couple of projects that are taking more time than I expected and I have let that frustrate me. I haven’t been at my best, physically, and I am having an unusual, for me, problem: not sleeping well. And, I confess that it really ticks me off when I virtually lose a day of life, because I am exhausted from a sleepless night. My computer is running slow—bloated with files, and is if all that weren't enough I was having real problems getting anything done on the web.

Finally, it all piled up and morphed into one of those fits of dissatisfaction with everything that I do. Nothing I write is worth saying, much less publishing. All my photos stink—no, I mean really stink. New ones and old ones. Why am I struggling to save any of them from drive failures? How did they get so awful and why did I bother to process them, much less hang on to them, or back them up in the first place? Maybe I should toss all of them and begin fresh. Never mind, the next batch would be just as bad. See what I mean?

At any rate, lest this be contagious, I need to quarantine myself for a couple more days until this fog lifts, the fever subsides—whatever. Perhaps this is just something brewing. Perhaps I will emerge from the malaise energized and produce like crazy. Or, maybe not. At any rate, I will be grateful to go on to the next phase whatever the heck it is.

Magnetic Fields

By now, anyone reading this blog knows full well that I am a long way from being a scientist or engineer. Physics isn’t something that I think about a great deal (it would hurt my brain too much), much less write about . Nevertheless, in between design and editing sessions, I have been thinking seriously about the question of magnetic fields as related to deadlines.

Since I can’t find any scientific evidence supporting my theories, I will just have to go with my personal experience. One deadline will attract another. Two or three deadlines will draw a horde more and before you know it all the little devils are piled up, one on top of another—clinging together in a bunch—like a cluster of grapes. Now to my mind that sounds an awful lot like some sort of magnetic properties are at work here. Don’t you agree that some meaningful scientific principle causes deadlines to huddle up like that? Either deadlines can send out messages (you know, like teenagers announcing a party on My Space); they travel in herds because they feel safer (from what predator, I have no earthly idea); or, they are irresistibly drawn together by the their magnetic properties.

At any rate, whatever the cause of this clustering phenomenon, I know this: on top of meeting all those deadlines—you are soon struggling to sort out which deadline date goes with which project, because all the dates are so similar. It’s no wonder that I am looking for answers.

While contemplating this deep scientific (and philosophical) question I began to consider other applications of magnetism and laws of attraction. That led me to even deeper thoughts such as: Why am I attracted to more projects than I can juggle? Why do I attach myself to standards for excellence that no one else is demanding of me? Why can’t I resist chocolate? What?! Wait. How did that one slip in there? Now, that is another topic to explore—not only chocolate, but how that thought just intruded on this scholarly examination.

By now, you can see how I have been distracted this past week. It’s not that I wasn’t thinking about blogging and other photobloggers. But, profound questions of this sort require a great percentage of one’s attention. I did squeeze in a few photo sessions—just to help me think more clearly—and as soon as I have stomped the grapes; no, eaten the chocolate (there it is again); no, no, finished with the cluster of deadlines, I will post some more of the photos that I have been taking.

SoFoBoMoaning

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On a day you have planned for some macro photography, you don’t want to fight 12 to 20 miles-per-hour wind gusts—and broken tree branches already on the deck warning you there may be more where that came from. Thankfully that seems to have finally passed.

On a day you have planned to accomplish anything creative, you don’t want to get by on three hours sleep. I am blessed, and deeply grateful, to be in exceptionally good health considering I am a woman of a certain age—you’ll get no more than that out of me in a public statement. Still, my body pulls a few dirty tricks now and again, and wrings me out good. As I chatted with my general practitioner yesterday about my CT scan, we came to some interesting conclusions about my digestive system. I was elated by the news that I passed the test. Who has time for a surgery now?!! However, since the mystery remains concerning my mysterious episodes, I submitted that my gall bladder evidently “takes a great picture, but just doesn’t work”. My doctor quipped, “You mean it’s pretty, but can’t act.” Perfect. And still one more demonstration that if you mention “The Industry” in Los Angeles, everyone knows you are talking about the film and television industry. Even our most serious-minded and professional doctors can converse in Hollywoodese.)

At any rate, with so many of today’s plans disintegrating, the strategy is obvious: scrap initial plans and rethink the day. Besides, it’s not as if I don’t have a to-do list longer than my arm, so it won’t be a wasted day. Although the end is in sight, the husband and I are still hip-deep in tax preparation. Furthermore, we are deeply immersed in negotiating the sale of one of our small businesses that my husband has operated for twenty-five years. Another education.

And, speaking of education, I am reviewing my well-marked copy of Robin Williams' book, “The Non-Designer’s Design Book” and I have just gotten into my latest acquisition, Pete Masterson’s “Book Design and Production”. (Thank you Paul Lester for the recommendation.) When I wrote my acting books many years ago, I relied pretty much exclusively on “The Self–Publishing Manual” by Dan Poynter for the basics of layout and design, and it is an excellent source. Still, when I got the Robin Williams book, I gave myself a tardy, but swift kick where it would do the most good. Now that I have the Pete Masterson book, I may have to repeat that exercise.

Mr. Masterson’s chapter on software tools is a good news-bad news story for me. The good news is that the author validates my perception that InDesign is more difficult to learn than Pagemaker. (That’s a relief. I didn’t think I had started losing it, since I learned Photoshop at the same time I tried and failed InDesign) The bad news is that he has convinced that if I want to get serious about producing books (and that’s an unanswered question at this point) I should upgrade to InDesign and learn to use the dastardly thing. In the software contest, Pagemaker 7, my current choice, ranks with the “professional quality” programs, but it doesn’t rank number one. That spot goes to the pricey, InDesign. Since I haven’t yet committed to investing another large chunk of cash in a 5th edition of the first acting book or the 2nd edition of the second book—unless they are classics, books get old and die without massive measures to resuscitate. And, we won’t get into the third book that never went beyond the successful, but neglected pilot version that was introduced, and well received, at teachers’ conferences. When you consider that I don’t know how much text I will want to do in future photo books, I am still not convinced that I need to send Adobe anymore of my life’s savings. For now, I will go with “professional quality”, just not the best.

The photo above reminds me that someday I just may want shoot a personal-project photo book in Bodie, California. I could easily spend a week there reveling in the opportunities.

Trying to Get Off the Roller-Coaster

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I have been pretty busy this past week just hanging on through a dizzying ride of ups and downs. Within two and half weeks of our first open house, we had two excellent offers. Pretty amazing for this lousy market. We were giddy. Then we crashed to earth. One offer could still come through, the other may have gone forever. At one point, we had a schedule set up that would have had us here through April—meaning I would have done my SoFoBoMo project here and then dealt with moving in May, but that plan went south and now there are just more question marks. I got a surprise present from good old Shutterfly (I had tested their service a couple of years ago) offering me a free 8x8 photo book. Hooray! A great practice run in case I decided to go that route for printing. My deadline was March 26. Meantime, I pounced on the wonderful information Gordon McGregor posted regarding printing at Blurb and began burning some midnight oil. I collected a batch of images and, with my newly installed profile, I tweaked them to match the profile. Whoa talk about out of gamut colors—not a pretty sight! Of course, it was the perfect time for a glitch in a hard drive. I won’t start talking about how much I lost, because if I do I will cry and we all know that you don’t want to get a keyboard wet. Not a good thing.

Well, on the roller coaster, the thrills never end. Ultimately, I had to look at the realties of the timing on our house sale and the rigors of a 30 day escrow that could start any day. The SoFoBoMo project appears to be out of reach. (For one day, I considered going to Pope Paul (that’s Butzi, of course, whom I have named The Instigator) for special dispensation on the start date, but after reading his post today on “Jumping the Gun”, I’m glad I didn’t. Whew! He’s tough. (Only kidding, Paul) Seriously, I know I can always do this solo once we are finally settled and I know where I will be the following week. However, Paul is so right about the value of doing this along with the group. For today—don’t even ask how many times I have come up with a different scenario—I plan to begin my project April 1 and face the fact that I will likely have to suspend work if we go into escrow. I will almost certainly miss the deadline. At some point when this is all over, I will finish the project. I can limit myself to a total thirty days spent on the project and celebrate the learning experience, then look forward to next year—that is if anyone is left standing and foolish enough to sign up again. Meanwhile, I can work like mad to learn as much as possible, do what I can, and celebrate the efforts of other participants.

It has been an intense week filled with growth opportunities. (Sometimes, don’t you just hate growing?) I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about the vagaries of the real estate game. I threw together a twenty page book for the free Shutterfly offer (hey, it gives me an opportunity to see how my normal editing holds up for their printing process). I experimented with a couple of cover designs and got past some of the intimidation posed by that job. I bought two new 500 gig hard drives and vowed to never trust another drive (I know, I know. It was only a matter of time) and to stop forever using Lightroom as a primary storage system. Details would only put my keyboard at risk. (I can’t say I wasn’t warned about Lightroom’s quirky and proprietary storage either.) I familiarized myself with the frustrations of adjusting to the Blurb profile and survived the shock. On the real estate front, we continue showing the house to a few prospects, while I strip more and more of the things from the house that make it warm, cozy, and mine.

Do they have a merry-go-round at this carnival?

Smoke, Ashes, and Drive-by revisited

I am ashamed of myself for complaining about anything while we are safe and much of Southern California is in ashes. It's more than unnerving to be surrounded by all the devastation. All the news we hear is bad and it promises to last for days. Almost every route out of Los Angeles takes you toward a major fire. North, West, East, Southeast—fires everywhere. Traveling due south from our house to the ocean would be the only exception. In this part of the world, "fall color" takes on an unpleasant connotation.

Unfortunately, my better nature is not winning out. I am still grousing about Time Warner. I see that I am making some crazy mistakes in my posts. And, I am not surprised. After all, I rush through the posts like a mad woman with breath held, waiting for the the connection to evaporate any second. Calling Time Warner produces nothing but accusations that we must have a bad modem, or maybe it's the router. Strange that when our equipment fails , so does that of hundreds of other customers. Coincidences abound.

At any rate, I realized today that in the post on Drive-by photography I labeled the shot as having been taken in the Eastern Sierra. Actually, it's from our June excursion to Colorado. Blogger supplies a spellchecker, but not a fact checker. So, Doug, that is why my reply to your post made no sense when compared to the original post. I am feeling stupid.