A Cloud of Dust

(Click on the thumbnail for the bigger, better version)

I love watching a horse just turned out and eager to work out the kinks. Here, Night was feeling especially good and relishing every moment of his freedom. You can almost hear him snorting and whistling as he kicked up the dust—coiling and uncoiling those muscles, celebrating his power.

When I work on an image such as this one, I always think of Mark Graf, since he has mentioned on numerous occasions revisiting images. This is one of those that I shot years ago and have always known that eventually I would know what I wanted to do with it. Finally, in late last year, I could see this one and knew where I wanted to go with it. In the past, I wasted a great deal of time worrying an image, attempting to force it to give up its secrets. Over time, I finally found the patience to interrupt these struggles, listen, and discover, finally, what is locked inside an image. It is amusing to me that when I finally have found my way, I can't imagine why I didn't see it all along.

As usual I have gotten myself into all sorts of things in the last couple of weeks. To top off the distraction angle, we have a houseful of guests arriving in just over a week. During my nasty cold, I let the house devolve into chaos and now it is catch-up time. As if that weren't enough, I have been on a roller coaster with my back: getting dramatically better; no, snapped back into deep mind-numbing pain. I stubbornly cling to optimism about this all being a positive sign. I went for a walk about a week ago and, while I could barely put one foot in front of the other by the time I got back to the backyard gate, it was exhilarating and I can't wait to do it again. I am determined to improve during this coming year.

I can't blame all of my absence on pain, house cleaning and rehab. My recent distraction is partly due to the influence of Roberta Murray. I caught on immediately to the fact that Roberta is a very smart lady. Thus, when she mentioned an article on art marketing, I ran to the site and was almost immediately hooked. I have been soaking up information and not giving anything back. That is nothing to brag about. My fascination isn't just with the articles about selling. Many of my favorites are about painting techniques and, since I never studied painting, my mind has been awhirl with some new-to-me and wondrous information, as well as some validation of my own blundering discoveries. Thank you, Roberta.

Of course, there is always something going on in the computer department. Recently, The Husband and I spent one fun afternoon, rewiring the maze of cables under my desk. Oh, boy, that was a fun time. It was well worth the effort, however, because I have better access to some switches and little things such as this simplification can make a big difference.

Although I have only scratched the surface, I will resist the effort to talk about all the things I have cooking now—such as working feverishly on some new pieces. Instead, I will save the rest of my jabbering for another day.

Flawed Workflow

(Click on the thumbnail for the bigger, better version)

The more progress I make with this cleanup the more I realize how much is yet ahead of me. It isn’t as if I had dumped files on random hard drives with no system at all; still, I have found my system woefully wanting. Part of my problem is that I got completely shutter-happy for several months this year and my shaky system was overwhelmed. It was overwhelmed partly because the system was weak, but mostly because I got took hundreds of pictures and began rushing to the next batch of photos before I completed the workflow on the previous one.

As for my filling system, it isn’t as if I hadn’t spent hours reading articles about workflow and organization. But, not surprisingly, if you read twelve experts on organization of files you get twelve different plans for surefire solutions. At this point, I am more convinced than ever that some of this flailing about it is an inevitable part of the process. I suspect that ultimately, each of us has to establish a system that works for us. For example, I remember studying the workflow of one individual who organizes all his files almost exclusively by numbers, assigning each project a unique number. Ugh, my head hurts just thinking about it. Though I learned early on that some numbers, dates and file numbers for example, are essential, that expert’s methods would turn me into a whimpering wreck in less than a month.

My method of organizing my files is still in flux and that is the major problem. The biggest problem was procrastination. I put off the drudgery work and had fun. Am I contrite? Not really. Yes, I now face an unholy mess. But, I had a grand time creating it, and I learned a great deal. It will be a long slow process, but I am getting closer to sorting out the chaos.

And then, there’s the anxiety about some of the photos I am tossing. Believe me, in spite of my jokes about machetes and General Sherman tactics, I am proceeding somewhat cautiously. Confidence in my editing abilities has grown in the last year, but I have a ways to go in that department. I still consider myself a near-beginner at this photography thing and a hungry student.

There were some interesting comments on my last post about editing old files and I noted the anxiety others face when deleting old photos. I would love to hear some ideas on workflow systems.

Art Show Mode

(Click on the thumbnail for the bigger, better version)

I am still in Art Show mode and, because of the images I am working on, I can only see horses, as you can tell by the picture above. Because the equine part of the show in May got the most attention, I have added only new work that capitalizes on that interest. The new work for the June 5th show consists mostly of stylized pieces such as the one here, and most of them involved considerable Photoshop work. Once again, I enjoy that part of the job, so it hasn’t been drudgery. Still, I have my days when I think that I am tired of the monitor screen, don’t want to touch the mouse, and just want to take new photographs. As you might guess, the start of my SoFoBoMo project is still at least a week away and I am getting a little antsy about that. Finally, I am in the midst of framing for the show with ninety percent of the printing done, but I won’t wrap this up for a few more days.

When I am doing this much processing, it seems I slip almost completely into a non-verbal mode. Anyone who visits this blog frequently knows that most of the time I can happily chatter on almost endlessly about almost nothing. But, when I am working on certain types of pictures, I tend to sink down into another kind of being and there aren’t many words there. That’s where I have spent most of the last week.

Not surprisingly, preparation for this show has been a learning experience. The learning is in the form of a reminder. Some of the new pieces were worked on months ago (years in some cases), but were never printed; and, while the files looked fine to me on the screen, test prints proved that they were not quite ready for prime time, after all. It is amazing, isn’t it, how great the distance between “almost good enough” to “yes, that’s what I was looking for”? Those last few tweaks go slowly for me, partly because I often need to walk away from an image for a while and come back to it with fresh eyes.

And that’s not the half of it. When I am working on a new piece, I usually have no clue where I am headed. I just know that there is the shadow of something in the photograph and I won’t be content until I have coaxed that out. And, wouldn’t it be fun if it were as simple as sprinkling some Photoshop fairy dust on the image and waiting for the new image to magically emerge? Still, the ability to transform a photograph so profoundly (even with hours of patient starting, backing up, and starting again) to ultimately produce something that touches people is almost magical to me.

I am quite aware that this talk about so much work in the digital darkroom brings up a sensitive topic for many photographers. If you are purist and don’t think photographs should be tampered with, you would run—not walk away from much of what I produce. I happen to swing back and forth between the two schools of thought. I have periods where I am only interested in photographs that required minimum processing. On the other hand, I go through phases of taking photographs to the point that many viewers aren’t certain what the origins of the image might be. Never having functioned as a photographer prior to digital, I have no allegiance to the purist school. I live there when it pleases me; when I get hungry for something else, I switch back to the fairy dust.

Apologies, Confessions, and Disclosures

(Click on the thumbnail for the bigger, better version)

I owe apologies to a number of people for not having responded to messages and comments. My head is hung appropriately low. Please forgive my tardiness. The excuses and responses to some messages will appear under Confessions and Disclosures.

Filed under Disclosures:

I have been having a blast getting ready for First Friday. Hmm. That’s not much of an excuse, is it? Framing still isn’t my favorite task, but even that has been easier this round. (More about that another day.)

Mostly, I am so busy because I keep thinking of more images that I want to add to this display next Friday. (Yikes. That’s only a week from day! Time’s a wastin’). Sometimes I go looking for a picture that I remember and I get lost wandering around in old files. Soon hours have gone by because I find something I like and had forgotten, or something I meant to process and never got to. The next thing I know it’s time to go to bed and I am a little further behind on this project.

In the meantime, I discovered (with some advice and guidance) a new wonderful photo location—Oak Canyon Trail right here in Bear Valley Springs. As if all the other joys of the canyon were not enough, there are apple trees blooming at the head of that trail. That, along with a blissfully calm day with very little wind, meant a welcome opportunity to get out the macro lens. Thank goodness I am not limited as to how much fun I am allowed in any one day. Now, if I just didn’t have to waste time sleeping! Sigh.

The only serious drawback to all this merriment is that I still haven’t buckled down to focus on my SoFoBoMo project. Since the First Friday event falls on May 1 and I will almost certainly be immersed in that project through that day, it does look as if I will start my photo book a day or two later than the official start date. Last year, I was among the eager beavers who jumped out of the gate the moment the starting gun went off and I will miss not being part of that group this year. But, I should be up and running by May 3, at least.

I still haven’t pinned down my project theme, but sometime next week I will have to commit or be forced to start a week or two later. I know that I will stay close to home. I am increasingly comfortable with the fact that, while I enjoy traveling and discovering new places, I am most productive when exploring my own home turf. I will be shooting close to home.

Filed under Confessions:

Paul Lester has been kind enough to encourage me in my desire(?) to take more portraits. He even took the time to sent me a link to a post at Craig Tanner’s site. If you need any encouragement to ask permission to shoot a portrait of a stranger, this audio may well be that final push that you need. But, wait. There’s more.

It’s time for me to ‘fess up about my reluctance to ask people if I can take their photograph. Yes, I know I would feel a slight sting of rejection if the individual were to say “no”, but that isn’t the fear that stops me. There are two greater fears that hold me back.

One fear is that the person will say yes, I will shoot, and my results will be lousy. My fear is that I will have implied a promise of something, then couldn’t deliver. I will have said that I could, when I couldn’t. The second fear is that the person will suspect that my interest in them was less than authentic and I was angling for a photograph rather than being simply interested in them and what they had to say. Paul Butzi’s recent post on how sometimes a camera gets between us and the events around us resonated deeply with me. Sometimes, I just don’t want to put anything between me and the delicious experience of discovering a fragile link with a lovely human being who has opened up to me.

Sure, I know that my fears are just as foolish as the fear of rejection and they boil down to simple fear of failure. Besides, if any of my fears were realized none of them would bring about the end of the world. I would certainly survive either of the possible negative outcomes. Still I know the tree, mountain, flower, stream, will be much more forgiving of my intrusion and won’t even be interested in my results. I can’t be so certain about a person. What’s particularly strange about the first of my bigger fears is that I don’t have that paralyzing anxiety about photographing horses. I get a little anxious, but basically I have confidence in what I want to do and my ability to do it—even when the owners will be in the photos. All those years of working with actors has paid off when it comes to working with folks in front of my camera. Still, these are people that I know and we have already developed some sort of relationship. Furthermore, it is the person I am photographing who wants the photos. That, then, is a very different story.

My ambivalence about shooting portraits has spurred yet another project that is in an embryonic form. I am working on an arrangement with a new friend to shoot a series of photos that are just as much about the person as the animals. Still, you notice that I had to get animals involved. I move slowly, but there is discernable movement on many fronts.

Feathering My Nest

(Click on the thumbnail for a bigger, better version)

For the last few days, I have had to spend portions of each day being Susie Homemaker. This has put a serious crimp in my photography time, but those boxes don't seem to be motivated to unpack themselves. Soon those stacks of full boxes will progress from being mildly embarrassing to humiliating.

Furthermore, the mess of cardboard boxes reminds me of the chaos in my photography work flow. I am coming to grips with the desperate need for improvement in that department. Because I get interested in a couple of new shots, I rush past all the steps I know I should follow. Sometimes I don't batch rename, but plunge into processing one shot that offers some promise. Most often, before I come close to naming, ranking, keywording, and backing up a shoot I have grabbed that card again to rush outside for a few more shots. It doesn't take long for that to produce a real tangle of unmarked shots that will be nearly impossible to find later.

Between the chaos in my file system and the cardboard boxes, I have a great deal of clean-up work ahead of me. But, then today while in the midst of organizing a section of files, I made a trip to the kitchen for a glass of water and lo, and behold, before I knew what hit me, I had a camera in my hand. I hope I'm not going to need an exorcism for these demons that take over my body!