Monday: The Day the Circus Came to Town

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Judging by how things are going here at Blogger, it Looks as if the circus may not have pulled out, after all. Maybe today will be interesting, too.

The last week actually didn't have a midway kind of feeling at all. Instead, it was quite somber. recently, life has been all about losing friends. Death, a couple dealing with terminal illnesses, and one the victim of self-destruction. Losing friends and loved ones is a natural part of life, but every so often there is pile-up in the schedule and one's coping skills get a bit frayed with overuse.

Sunday, I attended a memorial service and got through that reasonably well. I even went to bed that night thinking I had a fifty-fifty chance of getting some sleep in spite of the lingering hacking cough. And then, in the wee-est hours of the morning, the coughing was abruptly interrupted by the thought that the trial period offered by my web host had likely expired. I crawled from beneath the covers to check on the iPad and verified my suspicions. After getting the credit card and switching to the PC, I paid to secure the site and thought, "Now, now some rest, surely". Boy, was I wrong about that.

At this point, I have to skip to summing up the feel of the day, because the list of things that went whacko is far too long to enumerate and each is so trivial as to be of no interest to anyone—including me, at this point. For a general feel of the chaos, it ranged from a power outage, to news that underneath its covers my website was a wreck, to news that my daily prescription could not be refilled, then a lively wriggling dog covered in mud faced by a lady who can't get get up and down off the floor without major assistance. And not a husband in sight. He (the Husband) was gone for the day and I was fielding calls from him all day about things he had lost and how exhausting his trip was.

I knew I could give in to rage, sit down and cry, or find the humor in it all.  I elected to see the day as a Keystone Kops sort of affair. Or, an episode of I Love Lucy, only picture a crippled-up, decrepit Lucy trying to deal with those chocolates on the conveyor belt. Every time I thought I was getting on top of things another "pipe would burst".

It definitely was a circus of sorts. No cheerful calliope music; but, it took my mind off my mourning.

Today, we only have frozen water pipes. Yawn. Looking good, so far.

Pressure and Productivity

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There is nothing like facing a deadline to stimulate the creative juices. Of course, sometimes this works in reverse. Pressure also has the potential to shut me down. The alternative, then, to shut down mode is struggling with the other demon. The demon of unleashed possibilities. Suddenly, ideas come from anywhere and nowhere. The closer the time comes to "deliver the goods" the more possibilities pop into my head—all of them demanding attention—immediate attention, naturally.

I understand that this is mostly an escape mechanism. If I become immersed in a new project, how can I be expected to stay focused on meeting an approaching deadline? What a convenient excuse to postpone the less satisfying aspects of completing a job!

Most often I am able to maintain enough discipline to meet the requirements of a commitment, but it is often difficult to avoid the distractions. The deadline for the coming art show was no exception. I squeezed in work periods to finish the pieces for the show, but my heart was already in the next project.

What was demanding attention? Some things that I am not at all certain about. I don't have any fancy explanations for this exploration. Mostly, it boils down to the fact that there was a strong impulse, and I followed it. Obviously, it is quite different from what I have been doing for a very long time. Goodness, I rarely even experiment with monotones, color addict that I am. Furthermore, all my photography heroes (both famous and not so famous) inspire me with somewhat classic photography entailing a minimum of digital manipulation. Yes, I have made prodigious use of digital tricks to obscure distracting and downright ugly backgrounds in the case of equine photography. That large order completed recently included many examples of digitally altered backgrounds. Still, I have regarded those efforts, to some extent at least, as compromises.

Recently, I began looking at some old images in a completely different way. What I found myself wanting to explore was the full potential of using Photoshop techniques to strip out distractions and put the focus on what the image is about for me.  The image posted March 29 was the first piece that came out of this experiment. The resulting images are so different from my norm that I am not quite sure how I feel about them.

I enjoy honing my Photoshop skills, but I want even more to become a better photographer. In many ways, this feels like a detour. Yes, it is fed by some recurring back pain, nasty weather, and far too many health concerns at our house—all of which complicate photo shoots. Nevertheless, the real story is that the drive is there and I am going with the flow. I just get a bit nervous about being swept over the falls!

Oh, well, this is where I am and whether or not I am completely puzzled by the effort that went into all this work and end up tossing it out in a few months is beside the point. For now, this experiment pleases me, distracts me from all the nasty, nagging questions, and almost takes the place of my long hikes along the trail. It is another example of art as therapy. Besides, who knows where this exploration might be leading?

Feathering My Nest

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For the last few days, I have had to spend portions of each day being Susie Homemaker. This has put a serious crimp in my photography time, but those boxes don't seem to be motivated to unpack themselves. Soon those stacks of full boxes will progress from being mildly embarrassing to humiliating.

Furthermore, the mess of cardboard boxes reminds me of the chaos in my photography work flow. I am coming to grips with the desperate need for improvement in that department. Because I get interested in a couple of new shots, I rush past all the steps I know I should follow. Sometimes I don't batch rename, but plunge into processing one shot that offers some promise. Most often, before I come close to naming, ranking, keywording, and backing up a shoot I have grabbed that card again to rush outside for a few more shots. It doesn't take long for that to produce a real tangle of unmarked shots that will be nearly impossible to find later.

Between the chaos in my file system and the cardboard boxes, I have a great deal of clean-up work ahead of me. But, then today while in the midst of organizing a section of files, I made a trip to the kitchen for a glass of water and lo, and behold, before I knew what hit me, I had a camera in my hand. I hope I'm not going to need an exorcism for these demons that take over my body!