Thursday, January 26, 2012

'Tis The Season



Recently, it has been that time of year for cold and damp air, heavy, dull skies, minimal light—a world clad in muddy grays and browns. I am grateful that we don't have endless days of this sort of weather, as it has a way of weighing me down. These are the days that I tend to stay close to the fireplaces and find it is difficult to muster enthusiasm about getting out, or even beginning new projects.  Thankfully, we don't have endless weeks of the drearies.  For example, after a couple days of hiding from the weather, I watched eagerly yesterday morning as the sun came up. And, sure enough, blue sky. A rather pale and watery blue, it's true. Still, blue. And full of promise.

Tuesday, there was a bit of adventure despite the gloomy weather. The gray gelding has been having back trouble. Is stuff like this contagious?! It seems to run in our family. So, off we went to Caliente to see the horse chiropractor—horse trailer loaded with a gray gelding behind. There wasn't enough light for photo opportunities. Besides, there wasn't any time for dawdling and, with the low light, drive-by photography was out of the question. I went to get out of the house and to see the Caliente area, or at least what was visible through the mist.

I ended up enjoying, most of all, watching the chiropractor work with the horse. It was quite an eye-opening demonstration of skill. Years of experience, patience, a gentle hand, and techniques honed over time, topped off with an affection for horses produced an impressive package. He was masterful. At first Night was wary and, of course, you could see where his back was sore by the degree to which he flinched when the poking and prodding of the examination began. Night didn't trust this person he never seen or smelled and was in no mood, after a trailer ride, to succumb to that sort of handling much less any sort of physical manipulation at the hands of a total stranger.

It was fascinating to watch the man use his calm and confident nature along with skilled handling to melt the gelding's defenses. In no time, Night was not only eating from the man's hand (not a real challenge with this boy), he was softening and bending his neck to reach back over his withers to grab the little bits of green grass. At one point, when his new friend excused himself to get a tool for a special task, Night watched him wistully and clearly awaited his return. He had become putty in this trainer/chiropractor's hands.  In less than half an hour, Chip had completely won the horse's trust, and had diagnosed the problem areas. From that point forward all he had to do was ask and Night gave him what he wanted. While Chip pushed, pulled, stretched, and put the gelding into unfamiliar positions often verging on off-balance, the animal never balked, never questioned the man. It was an amazing thing to watch.

Night may or may not be past his bad back and able to do endurance races, but I am grateful for a private demonstration of a master horseman at work. If I were much, much younger and aspired to working with horses professionally, I would pay to apprentice with someone this good.   

Monday, January 23, 2012

What the Heart Can Imagine



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"In art, the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can imagine." 
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Happier Times


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Update: Blogger is playing nasty, this afternoon. I am going to roll over and play dead. If you click on the link you can see the image.

(I trust that by now most people are noticing that clicking on some of the thumbnails here will not accomplish much. There is still a link to a larger version, but that link is in the text below the thumbnail. This new workflow is giving me headaches to get used to, as well; but when it comes to using images at the new website, it makes for a much smoother workflow.)

If you would prefer to skip the sad sack, personal, post below, link to the much more upbeat post at the new blog.

I haven't exactly been Miss Sunshine for the early days of 2012. The hard work on my new site paid off, I think. Before long, I will get to some more tweaking. But, I can live with it as is for now.  The bad cold I am fighting was almost certainly triggered by lack of sleep which came courtesy of the long hours working far outside my expertise as well as some losses and major disappointments that I haven't handled well. Another of those periods where life serves up lemons and it's up to us to make lemonade. Clearly, I have misplaced the sugar or I got rotten lemons, because the taste in my mouth is still sour.

One of the disappointments comes from having learned that someone in whom I had placed great faith and for whom I had enormous affection is a fraud. This is a person who has been living a lie for years, now, and I was one of the suckers. Only, I didn't have to be reeled in. Heck, I jumped into the net. 

This person I loved—from a relatively safe distance, granted—was deeply flawed from top to bottom and now I am reeling. Reeling from shock, disbelief, and that awful aftermath of betrayal.  This is one of life's most bitter lessons. Learning that we really know so few people. We are attracted to the public persona, to the personality these people perfect for the public. We have all known them and by the time you have lived many years, you have been taken in by a few. Still, it is never painless.

Like all of life's wounds, this one will scab over and eventually heal. It just takes time. I still have a lot of good memories thanks to this person and, soon, those memories will overpower this sour feeling. I am focusing on those good times, now, and waiting for the weight to shift.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Monday: The Day the Circus Came to Town


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Judging by how things are going here at Blogger, it Looks as if the circus may not have pulled out, after all. Maybe today will be interesting, too.

The last week actually didn't have a midway kind of feeling at all. Instead, it was quite somber. recently, life has been all about losing friends. Death, a couple dealing with terminal illnesses, and one the victim of self-destruction. Losing friends and loved ones is a natural part of life, but every so often there is pile-up in the schedule and one's coping skills get a bit frayed with overuse.

Sunday, I attended a memorial service and got through that reasonably well. I even went to bed that night thinking I had a fifty-fifty chance of getting some sleep in spite of the lingering hacking cough. And then, in the wee-est hours of the morning, the coughing was abruptly interrupted by the thought that the trial period offered by my web host had likely expired. I crawled from beneath the covers to check on the iPad and verified my suspicions. After getting the credit card and switching to the PC, I paid to secure the site and thought, "Now, now some rest, surely". Boy, was I wrong about that.

At this point, I have to skip to summing up the feel of the day, because the list of things that went whacko is far too long to enumerate and each is so trivial as to be of no interest to anyone—including me, at this point. For a general feel of the chaos, it ranged from a power outage, to news that underneath its covers my website was a wreck, to news that my daily prescription could not be refilled, then a lively wriggling dog covered in mud faced by a lady who can't get get up and down off the floor without major assistance. And not a husband in sight. He (the Husband) was gone for the day and I was fielding calls from him all day about things he had lost and how exhausting his trip was.

I knew I could give in to rage, sit down and cry, or find the humor in it all.  I elected to see the day as a Keystone Kops sort of affair. Or, an episode of I Love Lucy, only picture a crippled-up, decrepit Lucy trying to deal with those chocolates on the conveyor belt. Every time I thought I was getting on top of things another "pipe would burst".

It definitely was a circus of sorts. No cheerful calliope music; but, it took my mind off my mourning.

Today, we only have frozen water pipes. Yawn. Looking good, so far.

Monday, January 16, 2012

About the Circus





Tomorrow, if I have recovered sufficiently, I will tell you why it has ended up being over a week since my last post. Meanwhile, it appears that all is well again at my new site, anitajesse.smugmug.com.

Is it my imagination, or do a number of fellow bloggers seem in a mood to test boundaries in this new year? Perhaps I am just more conscious and noting the changes, experiments, and flaunting of critics. Not that it is new, but that tone feels concentrated at the moment. It could very well just be my present perspective. What do you think?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sunday, January 8, 2012

An Invitation and a Link


Whew! Do my eyes look puffy? Can you tell I haven't been getting much rest? What a few days this has been.

Since I had almost nothing on my plate and for most of the second half of last year I sat around munching bonbons with my feet up, just dozing off now and then. What? No, I think that I thought about doing that one day, but just never got around to it. Anyway, I decided that I really needed a big project to begin the new year with a bang. Right now it feels too much like a schplat, but that may be mostly because my head is throbbing and I am having trouble remembering exactly why this was so critical. More about that in an upcoming post.

What have I gotten into now? Well, last year I got it in my head that I desperately needed a separate website that was current and featured exclusively the prints that I display in these small local shows. A separate website strongly implied the need for a new blog to accompany said site, right? Of course, the smart thing would be to say "Leave well enough alone. Make the sites you have work for you."

You are getting ahead of me. Stop that snickering. You know, by now, exactly what I have been doing. Yes, non-techie-Anita, took on building two new sites. Before you say, "No big deal. Last week, I built one for a friend in a couple of evenings after work. Just used templates." Remember who you are talking to here. I struggle posting on the sites I already have. Building these two cost me heaven only knows how many hours off my life-span, since I am seriously handicapped in all things web-related. Okay, computer-related. But, since when has logic and self-preservation led me to make sensible decisions?

Plunge in I did. Finally, after you couldn't believe how many hours—no, really, it is humiliating to admit how long it took to get to this point of showing these sites to anyone without hanging my head in total shame—I am willing to send out the invitations.

Be kind to a poor beaten up non-computer geek in way over her head. But, please, please pass on information about obvious errors such as links that don't work or take you to weird unexpected destinations. No porn sites I hope. Heck, I don't know. Mostly guys stop in here and you might not care. I trust that Roberta would forgive my ignorance. I hope that no backstage clutter is visible and that both sites are somewhat presentable.

When I have recovered a wee bit, I can begin the second stage of tidying up the premises and adding niceties. Right now, I need to see if there are any bonbons in the house. Brownies would do.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Thoughts, Dreams, and Wishes


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My top priority with this post is to say thank you to my friends who read my often pointless ramblings and continue to return in spite of my whines, periodic disappearances, and inexcusably bad manners much of the time. The end of one year and beginning of a new one is a good time for saying thank you's and for expressing some good old-fashioned gratitude. I am deeply grateful to have so many good friends. I know that I can confidently call my readers my friends because this is what friends do: accept you with all your warts and stick around even when you are not keeping up your end of the bargain. I am humbled.

I normally engage in a bit of contemplation this time of year and this one is no exception. Naturally, the Queen of Fantasies is busily scheming and plotting all sorts of projects and experiments, along with newer and better ways to get into more than time and strength permits. It has long been my MO. I set myself up for umpteen projects, actually tackle two or three, and then complete one or two. I suppose I am afraid that if I took on only three challenges (like a more rational person would) that I would accomplish nothing. Funny how we develop coping methods as a child and some of us never outgrow them.

I have a few New Year's resolutions, but one big one that sets the stage for all the others. I have been blessed in life and with blessings far greater than I deserve. My goal in 2012 is to be better at expressing my gratitude. You know the prayer, "Help me be the person my dog thinks I am"?  My prayer is "Help me be somewhat closer to the person who deserves all life's blessings that I have received and may the more deserving person whose blessings I have gotten by some cosmic mistake forgive me for my part in the error."

I will end 2011 with a heartfelt thank you to my friends on the web. May your New Year overflow with the best of days and may you find the strength to withstand the worst ones that slip in along the way. May your dreams grow ever more inspiring and your will to pursue them never falter. I look forward to continuing friendships in 2012. A toast to all of you.


- Posted

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

From the Mouth of the Cave

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I had no idea that my energy for interaction was so depleted when our December Art Show was over. Before long, I had crawled all the way back to the far corner of the cave, burrowed down, and hid out for a while. I pretty much forgot my email password and I sure hope no earth-shattering news was reported, because I unplugged.

I did have some looooong talks with my brother in Buenos Aires. Thank goodness for Skype. Otherwise, The Husband and I would have to live on cornflakes for a couple of months. My brother sounds good and we had fun fantasizing about getting strong enough to tackle that incredibly long trip for a visit. Talking and laughing about it didn't produce any aches and pains and the cost was minimal. It was a delightful game for the holidays.

There were sad talks with two friends that are terribly ill. Each of those visits sent me scurrying back into the far reaches of the cave for another couple of days. Some things in life don't observe holidays.

This year, we got Christmas cards done and I had forgotten how long it takes to make the special effort with the photos inserted in the special cards. We ended up being late with some, but it was worth every moment of time put in. The bonus was the responses that came back and the sound of voices we hadn't heard in a while.

On most of the brief occasions that I stuck my nose out of the cave to sniff the air, I didn't get far. I lost myself in daydreams about the next art show. It would appear that I have been bitten by this bug and, so far, no recovery in sight. I am enjoying the challenge immensely. Staying true to myself, not giving away my work, while providing pieces that some people want to buy is a tricky balance and I am getting a lot of satisfaction from hitting the target on enough occasions to keep me going. For now, I plan to continue on this path in 2011—"lord willing and the creek don't rise".

Since the Husband is off to Los Angeles to ride in the RoseBowl Parade, Galen and I have plenty of quiet around here and I feel even lazier now.The group he rides with will be dressed as Napoleonic era cavalry with the horses properly decked out. They are entry no. 69, I think, and I hope they don't get bumped for a commercial.

As for me, it will take me a few days to catch up—the cave still looks warm and cozy and I did enjoy the quiet way back there in that inviting corner. Never mind, I will venture out and eventually get caught up with all the energizer bunnies who have been posting.

Have a happy and healthy New Year, everyone!

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Morning After the Show

During an art show, I am almost always having a great time. The day after—when the metaphorical dust has settled—I am nursing my aches and pains, assessing what I can do better next time, reviewing some of the people I met, and thinking that I am too old for this!

At the end of the day on Saturday, I was in fair condition and somewhat amazed. By the time we cleared out last night, I was barely functional. I was in bed by a quarter after nine and felt as though I could sleep for two days, at least.

Overall, I had a good weekend—in spite of the fact that traffic was slow. I think we were too close to Christmas. Anyway, I sold three pieces and with a small turnout, that wasn't bad, at all.

Small turnout or not, I am pooped. I will have to lay low for a few days and catch my breath. I am already thinking about the next show. Is that sick? I am looking forward to the next rush of creativity and what ever discoveries lie ahead. I already have a list of some pieces that I want to focus on and some that I didn't finish in time for this show.

I am just grateful that I don't have to start work immediately. I do have one task for this week. I have been asked to donate a piece for the raffle held at the big Bear Valley Springs show. That task has to be taken care of this week; but, after that I plan to kick back for a few days and pretend, once again, to be fully retired.

I will be back when the aching subsides and I am not constantly stifling yawns. I owe a stack of responses to all who have posted comments, but this statement of gratitude can't wait: Thank you all for the generous good wishes that I got before the show. Your kind words sent me off full of enthusiasm and optimism.

Answers and some questions coming soon.

P.S. I was waiting and hoping to find the energy to add a photo to this, but have given up. This post will have to go out on the big ol' World Wide Web unadorned.


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