Libel and Innocent Creatures

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So, the truth comes out. False accusations flew and the local deer were impugned without sufficient evidence. Their very reputation as a species was sullied, and all due to hasty conclusions made in a pique of anger. Ladies and gentlemen, the deer are entitled to an apology.

Let us examine the evidence in the snapshots included here. Now, I ask you, ladies and gentlemen, did a deer dig that burrow in that planter box? Of course not. The day after the precious rosebuds disappeared—stolen in the night by a heartless villain, it appeared that some digging had taken place. Now, we have definitive evidence. Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibits A and B.

Clearly, one of the many burrowing creatures that reside here in Bear Valley Springs has illegally established residence in this planter. No. The records are clear. No permits were pulled for this occupancy. This is a straightforward case of unauthorized tenancy.

I ask you for a not guilty plea for the deer. We owe an apology to these innocent victims of circumstance. This was an embarrassing episode demonstrating the pitfalls associated with assumption of guilt.

Now, let us catch and punish the dastardly underground creatures that wreaked this devastation.